Adoption Revivialists - Recreating a Shameful Past?

Adoption is often seen as the panacea for social ills.

For much of the latter half of the 20th Century adoption was used to forcibly remove children from young mothers to shield society from the shame of having children out of wedlock. The mothers, fathers and their children often deserted in their time of greatest need.

Adoption is now presented as a solution for shielding the shame of battling parents who struggle to hold their families together as a consequence of domestic violence, substance abuse, poverty or homelessness.

Adopt Change is the most active of the adoption revivalists.

Formally established last year Adopt Change grew out of its earlier incarnation – National Adoption Week – to revive interest in adoptions, beginning in NSW. With a professional busInness structure consisting of a board, CEO, staff, ambassadors and strategic partners it raises funds from big business and lobbies to influence people up to the highest level.

Their main aim is to make adoption faster, easier, cheaper and more widespread, built on the premise that adoption is a suitable option for building a family, a ‘forever family’.

Adoption is far more complex than the fantasy of giving a child a ‘forever family’.

Adoption is a traumatic experience etched deeply into the heart and psyche of the adopted person, an experience which they have to deal with for life.

Adoption is built on deception. The notion that your first identity is flawed, your parents are flawed, your extended family is flawed and that these origins need to be wiped clean. Permanently.

Once the threshold of an adoption order is crossed, the adopted person faces a complex set of conflicting psychological and social factors they have to deal with throughout their lives: Separation. Loss. Guilt. Shame. Trust. Identity. Intimacy. Rejection. Loyalty …

She’ll be right, mate!

Abuse and neglect of children are not fixed by stripping a child of its name, identity, parents, and wider family through the replacement of a ‘forever family’.

Interventions require more complex support to help young children build a strong sense of self, good personal relationships, resistance to sustained substance abuse and reducing patterns of self harm – characteristics that are often missing from the life skills of adopted people.

Adopt Change want to increase adoptions. They have set targets to double the number of adoptions, processed at twice the speed, during the course of this year. They also aspire to steadily increase this tempo over the next ten years so that adoption becomes the default setting for children experiencing family breakdown. Which based on current rates of children in out-of-home-care could number thousands of children.

Adoption lobbyists often refer to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare statistic that adoption rates have declined 76% in the last 25 years, implying this reflects poorly on the country; that these rates should be increased, and quickly.

Adoption rates reached a peak in the early 70s in Australia – the heyday of forced adoptions – and have steadily declined ever since due to many factors: the introduction of support benefits for unmarried mothers; the work of the feminist movement to push for equal rights and opportunities for women; use of the ‘pill’ as a reliable contraceptive; changing social values where there is greater acceptance of single mothers and alternatives arrangements e.g. fostering, guardianships, kinship and permanent care orders.

One of the great myths about separating children from their parents is that they have happy endings and good outcomes for all. If we ever need an example of the devastating long term effects of the removal of children from their parents we need look no further than what happened to the indigenous people of this country, who endured forced separation over many decades. The social consequences are enormous, widespread, inter-generational and cost the nation billions of dollars each year.

There are many ways we can measure the health of a nation. Its economy would be one; its people another. What low interest and low unemployment rates are to a healthy economy, so adoption rates are a barometer to the health of our families.

What is the value of boosting adoption rates when all they highlight is that many of our families are broken and parents are screaming for help?

Adoption doesn’t address the issue of struggling parents, it just preys on their helpless children.

The most tragic family issue in Australia today is not low adoption rates – it’s domestic violence. The reason we have over 40,000 children in out-of-home-care is a consequence of unemployment, homelessness and domestic violence, all of which put stress on parenting.

Domestic violence is eating away at the heart and soul of our nation. Many of our families are broken. Falling apart. And this is most damaging to women and their children. The number of children in out-of-home-care is an awful indictment on the health of our nation as are the numbers of women falling victim to domestic violence, frequently leading to their deaths.

Strategies and programmes need to focus on eliminating violence from our homes. The message needs to be clear – real men don’t do violence.

We need to find ways to stop the flow of children into out-of-home-care; to support parents so that they can maintain healthy families, where children are safe and provided with opportunity.

Do we need adoption revivalists stepping forward to increase or quicken adoption rates when this creates a whole new set of personal and social problems without stopping the flow of children into out-of-home-care?

No, we need other role models.

Role models who can inspire and get governments to act for change that truly serve the interests of vulnerable children AND their parents.

There is no better role model than Rosie Batty, domestic violence campaigner and the 2015 Australian of the Year, who has been an outstanding advocate for women and children since her 11-year-old son was murdered by his father in 2014.

Rosie Batty needs more of our support. Her advocacy, unlike that of Adopt Change, will make a real difference to the lives of vulnerable children by helping to keep them out of out-of-home-care and strengthening the coping skills of their parents.

Thomas Graham